I didn’t always view becoming a Mother as a blessing. I never prayed to God for my daughter. The day I found out was probably the longest day I had ever experienced in my life. My pregnancy was ideal no morning sickness, no fatigue, heightened energy and I was 25 pounds smaller. People around me congratulating me on the pregnancy and asking so many questions. I remember thinking I don’t Know Nor do I care, I just wanted to be free of the pregnancy.
I delivered my daughter Eden on her father’s birthday and on July 15th, 2016 my life changed forever. It was glitter and tutu’s for the first two months then life set in and all my past thoughts became a reality. This baby was a intruder and she wasn’t really fawned of me. She would be so amazing when her father was home but with me she wouldn’t nap as long and she was cranky 24/7. This wasn’t the life for me I wanted to travel, drink and hang out whenever I wanted. I wanted to be happy again.
After several months of depression I attempted Suicide. This life wasn’t what I wanted and it was clear at the time that my daughter agreed. She just wasn’t what I expected (I am spoiled I usually get what I want) and I didn’t like that at all. Well the attempt didn’t work and I am here today. That was 2 years ago when I decided to take my life but I thank God daily for the blessing of Life. It took some time to get back on track and heal. Motherhood was a downfall for me until I realized it wasn’t.
Throughout my Journey I realized daily how much I love being a Mother. I love her more than I love to breathe. I can’t go hours without looking at her or picture. I gave up my Career so that she wouldn’t attend childcare and I could watch her grow. Motherhood choose me because God saw it fit that I was a Mother. Eden is my greatest blessing and I make sure to tell her daily.
Never forget to tell your love ones you love them because sometimes we forget to let it show.